Sunday, July 15, 2007


Tomorrow is my interview for student teaching. It makes ZERO sense to me that I do not interview with the district. I interview with my uni. How weird is that? LOL I just don't get it. How does the district know that they want me? I mean, I'm confident that I will do well. Ok, I'm not confident about that. I am really freaked out that I will suck at teaching. I'm scared. I don't KNOW that I will be good at this. It's the only thing I've wanted to do. What if I suck at it? What if the kids make me cry? What if no one will hire me? I'm fucking FREAKED! I hate job interviews, especially one like this that is weird. I don't know...what if, what if, what if.

This just scares me. I don't like having to leave Riley with a day care person. I don't want to do that. I want to be home with him. That's where I should be. I didn't know that the program would be this short. I thought that I would have another year before student teaching. I've wanted to be a mom for so long, and now that I am, what am I going to do? Take care of other peoples kids and leaving mine with someone else. I'm just stressed. I need some down time before school starts.

And speaking of school starting, what the hell is up with that? School starts Aug 13! What the hell!? What happened to starting after Labor Day?

Ok, I need to stop stressing. I think that a massage is called for! :) Hopefully soon.


Saturday, July 14, 2007

Had fun

The company party was so much fun!! We met Jeff, Michelle (didn't know they're a couple!), and some guy and his wife Rosa, and Joe's Crab Shack. Had some snacks & drinks. Went and decorated our three tables on the boat. I got to meet the main bosses wife and the plants liason from the local power company and his wife. Her and I TOTALLY hit it off! LOL I made some comment to Brad about not wanting a margarita because they wouldn't have Patron on the boat and this ended up being a conversation about different types of tequila. Turns out they not only had Patron, it was the only tequila they had! LOL So, all the women, except Rosa who is nursing and J who is pg, had them. Apparently, I am really fun & Laurie, the liasons wife, wants to get together. Ooookay! LOL Hey, getting in good with the hubby's bosses wife can't be BAD right?

Riley did good with Marianne babysitting him. They seemed to have fun. Even if she burned the pizza & cut it with scissors. And made Kool-Aid in the wrong pitcher, so it was horridly weak! LOL Oh well...they had fun. That is all that matters.

Went and saw "Evan Almighty" today with S. She was taking her daughter B and 2 of B's friends. It was a good movie. The girls were laughing so hard!

Now I'm home, Riley is playing with his Duplos. Brad is at the bar with S's hubby, K. They both need to get out. They are still having serious issues in their marriage. I really hope that they can work through it all.

Oh, and my class from last month? FINALLY got grades! And I passed the RICA. YAY!!!


Thursday, July 12, 2007

I'm not old enough....

to have friends that are in their 40's!!!!! LOL My good friend, J, turned 40 today. Abso-fucking-lutely CRAZY! Another friend, R, turned 49 on Tues.

So, J's mom threw her a party today. A formal high tea luncheon. I hate these things. I mean, it was a TON of fun. And I wouldn't have NOT gone. But I just so nervous with things like this. I only knew 3 other people, besides J, that were going to be there. One was home, she hurt her knee and couldn't come. So, that left 2 other people that I knew. There were assigned seats. I was supposed to be at a table with the one who didn't make it. So, I was at this table with 2 other women that I didn't know. I get so nervous at things like this that I want to vomit. I hate it hate it hate it. I knew that I had to go though. I was picking S up. Plus, I couldn't do that to J, just not show up ya know?

I went, it was fun. I was a table with teachers. But they work together, so it was weird for me. I gave J a picture frame that has engraved "Who wouldn't want to be us?" with a pic of me, her, S & R from our nice dinner out in Arizona. A pair of super duper soft blue aloe infused socks. A book called "At Knits End: MEditations for Women who Knit too Much". A t-shirt that has a guy knocked out by a girl that says "Does not play well with others." And three cards from me, one from me & S. LOL We had WAY too much fun in Hallmark!!

Tomorrow is utter chaos! LOL I start at 10 with a hair cut and colour. Then a pedicure. Then get my eyebrows waxed. Then off to Michaels to get candle holders. Then pick up the babysitter. Come home, get dinner for the babysitter and Riley, get dressed, do my makeup, go to the company dinner. Get home, take babysitter home. It'll be fun!


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

What's the point?

Of having an advisor at a university IF THEY DON'T ADVISE??????????? I swear, I have had nothing but issues with the uni that I am working on my credential through. I went from Aug 2006 till April 2007 with no advisor. It wasn't until I got really mad that I got an advisor. And even now, I don't have an advisor. I call, and talk to whoever is available. Yeah, I get the run around, a LOT. But I did manage to explain my situation to the head of the dept who was making assumptions based on what was in the computer. Yeah, it was all wrong. Wrong dates, things done that weren't really done. A big fat mess. At least it's getting taken care of now.

And last month, I had the professor from hell. Not that he was mean. He just.......disappeared for a few weeks. Keep in mind that the classes are only 4 weeks. Still waiting for my final grade in the class. Today is 10 days after the end of the class and grades should be posted. But they aren't. I am just so fucking fed up with this shit. I am just needing to be done with school. Yet, I have to take another class this month.

This month is a computer class. Very annoying. It's stupid shit that I will NEVER use in a classroom. Guess what? I DON'T NEED TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE A FLYER IN WORD! It's simple, I would either ask my friend who does digital scrapbooking to make me one OR I would paper scrap it myself & photocopy it OR I would MAKE IT IN PUBLISHER! NOT WORD!!! Drives me fucking crazy! I will NEVER have to make something like this! Look at this damn assignment!

Using MS Word, create a one-page newsletter, flyer or award certificate for use in your classroom that includes:
* 1 watermark graphic with text written over it
* 1 additional clip art image
* 1 graphic image on the same line as text
* Clear, short, and simple text message indicating purpose.

Come ON! If I need an award, I WILL BUY THEM! If I need a flyer, I won't make it in WORD! ARGH!!!!!

Ok, can ya TELL that I'm frustrated?

But I had a nice weekend. A friend came up Sat and stayed the night. We went shopping and out to dinner. Then we went to a local Indian casion, but it was a zoo, so we left. Sun we were going to take Rileys 2 yr pics, but that didn't work. He decided to take a nap. Little monkey! But we shopped, had lunch, then we came home. She went home. It was nice though.

Mon we ran around all day. Today was my friends b-day. So, after my fitness class, my friend who teaches it & I went to lunch. Then we went back to her house, took showers, and went to go buy bday cards and gifts. Then we met the b-day girl for lunch! Tomorrow, which is Wed, I am going shopping with another friend. I need a bra for under my dress for Fri night. And a wrap. Thurs is my friends 40th b-day. Yep, 2 good friends whose b-days are 2 days apart! LOL Well, and about 4 years. lol Her Mum is having a "high tea" that we are all going to. It will be fun. Fri I get my hair cut & coloured. Then I get a pedicure. Then I get my eyebrows waxed. Then I have to pick up the sitter, come home and get ready. It's the company party. Which is a dinner cruise on the river. Come home, drive said sitter home. Sat I MIGHT be meeting a friend and her daughter and some of her daughters friends to see "Nancy Drew". Funny that I want to see that movie since I HATED the books as a kid! LOL And somewhere in this mess I have to do that assine assignment and two other assignments! Can I get another 4 hours in my days? Oh, and Sun Brad has to spray the vineyard for his folks since his Dad can't be on the tractor for a while.

Yeah, I've got the time! LOL


Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Something "went boom"

I'm cracking up over here. We're all sitting here, watching "Mr & Mrs Smith". Yes, we allow Riley to watch things like this. Deal. Something exploded. Riley got ALL excited and said "(something) went BOOM!" We couldn't understand the first word...I wish we could. We was so excited!! This child is SUCH a boy!! Honestly, I don't know what I would do with a girl if I had one! LOL I've gotten so used to the tackling, booms, etc. The jumping off furniture. Head butting, growling. LOL

The other day Toast was growling at him constantly. Understandable since Riley was trying to ride him. Poor stupid cat. Riley thought that it was hysterical and would growl back everytime Toast growled. And then Riley would laugh.

He's picking up a lot of words lately. All of a sudden he pops off with words that we didn't know he knew. His latest thing is he waves and says "Bye-bye. See ya!" and then he walks away. LOL It is so funny.

He walks into the kitchen, looks at me and says "Hey dude". I guess because of how we talk to him he is going to talk to us the same way. We don't talk disrespectfully to him, but we do use common slang with him.

I am having to get better with my language. One day, I hit my toe that I broke last year and I said "SHIT SHIT SHIT!" He said "IT IT IT!" I've been careful since. Or at least I try to be! I'm not always successful. But I do try!

Today is the 4th. We went to the parade in town. BIG parade. lol It was all of four blocks. Brad pushed Riley in his Power Wheels that my folks gave him last year for his birthday. It was really cute. I took a ton of pics, well, not as many as I would have if I wasn't running the video camera at the same time. LOL Brad was with Riley in the parade so it was just me taking pics. But they were good pics.


Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Baby fever

Oh man, I don't know what to do. I'm itching for another one. I know that it isn't realistic that I'll get pregnant again. Part of me doesn't want to. But I am thinking about adoption again. I haven't mentioned it to Brad at all. I don't know what he would think. I do know though that if we do adopt, I want to find out about the shots that would allow me to breastfeed. I enjoyed it so much with Riley, that bonding time was so nice! And I would HATE HATE HATE to have to use formula. I already have the diapers. Of course, we just got rid of all our baby stuff! I've given a ton of stuff to a friends bro and wife. And just last week we took 13 bags of clothes to hospice.

I know that I need to talk to Brad about it. It's a hard call. I mean, if I were to get pg again I would be thrilled. But I wonder a little bit about adopting. Riley is starting to get more self sufficent. I don't have to spend every waking hour taking care of him. A new baby would set that back. I'm just at a loss. I don't know what I should do. Maybe I should bring it up to Brad just so I have someone to talk to about it all. I CAN'T go back to trying to get pregnant. I just can't. It was too stressful and too painful. If it happens great, but I just don't know what I should do about the adoption thing.

ARGH!!!!! I wrote this hoping for some clarity, but I'm not getting that.

Sunday, July 01, 2007


Why is it that people think it's rude for a woman to nurse in public but feeding a baby artifical breast milk, otherwise known as formula, no one blinks an eye? I just don't get it.

Now, I never heard any comments about nursing Riley. I wouldn't have cared if I got them anyway! The only person who ever asked when I was going to quite nursing was my Mom. And even she wasn't really judgemental about it. She wanted to keep him overnight. Never mind that she did before he quit nursing, she just thought that if I wasn't nursing she could have him more often. LOL

But I don't get it. We have sexualized breasts as a society and because of that women who want to feed their babies NATURAL food get crap! People are idiots.

Been mad

Thursday Brad was supposed to be off work...starting night shift on Fri. I ran Adrienne to meet Daniel, since she watched Riley while we were at the hospital. While I was gone, Brad called. Work had called and wanted him to come in. Never mind the fact that I had a research paper to write and a final exam and nevermind that I was planning to do them that night...Brad said YES! PISSED ME RIGHT THE HELL OFF! And he did this after I told him not to go in. Since we were visiting Stan on Sat that left me with Fri to do my paper and take the final. I know, I know, I shouldn't have left it till the last minute. BUT we had a really flakey professor and he didn't get back to the emails he'd been sent with questions. So I was stuck and I wasn't able to work on the paper until he got back to the email.

I've also been annoyed with school. It's a good thing I have this week off. I need it. This prof basically disappeared the first week of class and didn't show back up until the 3rd week! It's only a four week class. Pisses me off. We all bust our butts with these classes, and we didn't know how we were doing in the class until it was almost over. People are pissed.

I emailed my advisor twice the other week, never heard back until I called and left her a message. Apparently, she didn't get my emails. But everything is on track for me to student teach this year. So, in a little over a month, I will be teaching in a public school. Provided, of course, that my idiot advisor didn't miss anything that I need!! I swear, the school could not have screwed things up for me any more if they had tried!

Well, we'll see how it all goes!!