Wednesday, October 31, 2007

So much has happened

since I last blogged. On the 14th, our wedding anniversary, I started to bleed and I passed the baby. On the 15th, we left, as planned, for Disneyland.

The trip was a ton of fun. And I managed to hold it all together. Riley was so awesome. :) He LOVED the characters. He LOVED Pirates, he LOVED the Haunted Mansion. He LOVED LOVED LOVED the train. He was LIVID that he couldn't go on California Screaming though. Um, dude? You're just under 33 inches and you have to be 42 inches to go on that. You're 2...and it goes upside down! lol But he did want to go on it. He also wanted to go on the Matterhorn. And I think that he would have been ok, but he is too short for that too, by only 2 inches. Bummer. :( He was not at all scared of any of the characters. Or any of the rides. His favorite rides though were the train and Small World. It was a GREAT trip...much needed.

Got back to my folks on Fri so that we could go to Aunt Tina's 90th b-day party. Well, that just fucking sucked eggs. :( First, Steve and Danielle wouldn't really talk to either of us. I mean, Steve did talk to us, to go on and on about how he doesn't know how HE is going to handle it, having two kids. "I might have to get rid of my gaming stuff." Dang, we got rid of the X-Box right after Riley was born! Jeff came out from Boston, where he is living with his fiance. *shaking head* He's an idiot. He's known her for 3 months. They are engaged and she's pregnant. And of course, this was supposed to be kept from us because of all that we went through to get pg with Riley. *rolling eyes* It annoys me that they all think that we have to be treated with kid gloves about people being pregnant.

Anyway, I LOST it. I totally went off when I found out that my mother knew that Jeff's fiance was pg. Looked at her and said "What, do you think I'm stupid and I wouldn't have figured it out?" Went off on the whole "Well, we're so lucky to have Riley" and "At least you have Riley" comments. Oh yeah, cuz we're LUCKY to NOT have the other three? It just pisses me off. I cried pretty much the whole way home on Sunday.

Since then, I started my new class. I'm in a 1st/2nd combo. I don't know how well it is going to work for me. The teacher isn't super organized. She doesn't really have a plan book. She is just the opposite of Barbara. And I LIKE how Barb does stuff! lol

I am also getting a new supervisor. I don't feel that my current supervisor is helping me as much as she should be. I email with questions and don't get answers. She showed up over 20 minutes late for an observation that I had already put off for 4 days because she didn't want to drive up here twice in a week. Well, she ended up having to anyway! lol By that point I had put off that lesson for over a week.

Today, I'm home sick. I started getting a sore throat yesterday. It started around 10am. By 4pm, I had a headache, stiff neck and fever. I decided that since today is Halloween it was better to stay home today and sleep and rest than risk it getting worse. I slept till 11 and feel a TON better. Riley is at daycare, Brad is sleeping, it works. And I am feeling a ton better! Which means that I will be back at school tomorrow.

Ok, that's enough for now. :) There's crap going on with Monica and some shit she might be trying to pull with her wedding, but I'll write about that another day.


Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Or is it?

God, I cannot take much more of this. Went for the ultrasound today. Dr says " have a small deformity on your uterus that looks like a sac." Odd...of all the ultrasounds I've had I'd never heard this. We see something moving in the sac. He takes my wrist and starts counting "1......2......3......4......5......6......7......8......9......10" While looking at the monitor. Then he lets go of my wrist and, while staring at the screen starts counting "1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10". "Ok, I wanted to check. That is not your heartbeat. You've got a heartbeat in there!" WTH!!!???

So we go into his office and he was confused! He said "Well, I was planning to do the ultrasound and then talk to you about your options. But really, there are none. We don't know that this pregnancy is going to be ok. But you are definately still pregnant. It is possible that the lad made a mistake." Brad: "Could the lab have left a number off the results?" Dr: "Not likely, but it could have happened." Good Lord! When will this end???

They did another blood test and I am just waiting for them to call me with the results. I am tired of this ride...can it please be over now???

Monday, October 08, 2007


before it even began. My latest pregnancy that is. Last Wednesday my hormone levels were 1609. They were rerun today and they are 1718. They should be at least 6,400. I have an appt with the dr on Wed morning for a follow up and another ultrasound. We'll see. But basically, my gut feeling was right and this pregnancy isn't viable.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

I never thought........

that I would be one of those people who isn't excited to be pregnant. I never thought that I would even RESENT being pregnant. But right now, I am. I AM resentful. This isn't what I wanted God. I wanted to be able to go to work in fall. I wanted to be teaching. I wanted to be able to save money, to be able to not worry every month about paying things. I know, all selfish. But we had started to make plans. Why does God think that my body is a playground?

I think some of this is just being in limbo. I found an OB. I saw the midwife on Wed. No real point to it. I have to have another c-sec. Not what I want. But they will tie my tubes. Which will be nice. No choice, the hospital doesn't do VBACs. Anyway, we did an ultrasound. It showed that I am 5 weeks. But all we could see was an empty sac. So I have another ultrasound scheduled for the 23rd. They also did the prenatal panel. My HCG is 1600. It was a TON higher with Riley. They are rerunning the HCG on Mon. So I will have the results on Tues. We'll see. I don't think that the pregnancy is viable. I just don't. I don't feel pregnant. I know that all pregnancies are different. I just am having a hard time this time.

I know that some of this is because I had moved on. I enjoy sleeping through the night. I enjoy the fact that Riley is more independent. I enjoy the fact that I can go out with my friends and I don't have to worry about nursing. I was enjoying the fact that I was going to have diapers behind me in about a year.

Don't get me wrong. IF this pregnancy is viable, I will adjust. It's just that right now, I feel like I can't get excited. I feel like I can't be happy. In case. Because I don't know how I would do it again. At the same time, I don't know that this is what I want. I didn't expect this. I mean, I know that doctors can be wrong. I'm not stupid. But when 3 different drs tell you that you have less than a 1% chance of getting pregnant without fertility treatment, when your risk of miscarriage is 85%, you believe them! You don't expect ONE surprise pregnancy, but TWO!?!?!? I mean, this is ridiculous!

I'm just stressed. I'm sure that as I adjust to this I will be fine. It's just hard right now. I don't know. It's a struggle. I don't really feel like I can talk to anyone about this. But I don't know that I would be as heart broken if I were to have another miscarriage. I thought that my 2nd one would kill me. I really did. I was so devastated. The first one was awful. Leaving the er that morning, in the rain, at about 2am...that was horrid. I will never forget how I felt that day. But this time...I just don't know. Maybe it's because I thought that I was done. I don't know what to do.

Ok, this was depressing enough. Hopefully we will have some answers soon.


Monday, September 24, 2007

I think I'm going to throw up

My period is a week late. Now, this is nothing unusual for ME. But I was also feeling more tired than normal and a little bit weepy and a bit nauseated. I took a test this morning and I am pregnant. I am also a little scared. With my history and all, it's a bit nerve racking. Now I have to find a new ob. Oh Lord. According to the web sites I am 5 weeks. That is still 4 weeks before I had my u/s with Riley to know that everything was ok. I hope that the new ob is willing to order an early u/s for me. I can guarantee that I will need it. Just for my own peace of mind I will need it. On the plus side, I am not avoiding meat yet!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Oh good God, what NEXT!?

Ok, let me give the FULL thing of what has gone on in the last week!

Last Mon I got a yeast infection. Second one in MY LIFE. So on Tues we trot off to WalMart and get me some Monistat. I decide that I suck at treating anything for more than a day or two at the most, so I'm gonna do the Monistat 1. I get ready to do it that night...BAM! Riley has a fever of 102. Ok...NOT treating the yeast infection.

So, Riley now has a fever...Brad takes Wed off work to stay home cuz I am the sub, so I can't call in. Wed night, I treat the infection. After a bit of a panic of trying to find someone, we get some friends to drive darn near an hour to come watch Riley. Make appt with Riley's dr for Fri. wouldn't think that I had even treated the infection. Itching, burning and...well, gross! Thurs night...Riley's fever is 102.4*. Not fun.

Fri...I still have infection. Riley has no fever. Brad is off work. We drive to his dr appt. Dr checks the ears...nothing. Does a strep test...nothing. I mention the yeast infection and that I am now wondering if the fact that I bought pretty smelling liquid fabric softener instead of my no perfume/no dye stuff could do this? Dr says normal kind, wash all underwear, retreat infection with at LEAST the 3 day kind because the 1 day is crap. Ok Doc! Brad gets BRILLIANT idea that we should go see my folks Sat after our friends dd's folks who are about 2.5 hrs away. We have to be home Sun night because I teach Mon.

Sat...I rewash ALL my panties. Cuz I can't remember what had been washed the week before. Go to b-day party. B-day girl and her mother show up 1 hr late. ARGH! Drive to my folks. Find out Nana is in the hospital...again. ARGH! Go see movie with Brad while my Mom watches Riley, because Dad is at the hospital with HIS Mom. Nana (who is 92 years old, btw) had a nose bleed. Because of her blood thinners they couldn't stop the off to the hospital for plasma and 2 units of blood. Yeah.

Sun...Brad & Dad do all the brakes on the van. As well as a few other things. NICE!!! :) Leave after 8pm. Had needed to leave by 7. Oh well. The whole thing with Nana and all. Feel sick all the way home. Headache, leg aches, nauseated, the whole thing. Thinking..."crap! I have the math book, the reading book, the spelling stuff...CRAP! I have almost the whole day with me!" Didn't think I would make it in Mon. (I'm student teaching.)

Mon...woke up feeling tired but fine. YAY! Go off to school. Come home. "Hey hon! Oh, by the way...Riley's dr called. He has strep. The dr sent the prescription to (local pharmacy)." WHAT!?!?!?!? After all that he DOES have strep!

So, now he is on an antibiotic that I am not allowed to administer or touch! FUN!! I also have to throw out the spoon that we use to administer the meds with when he's done. Ah, the joys of being allergic to antibiotics!

So, quick recap...Nana, in the hospital. Wants to die. Me, yeast infection/allergic reaction...treated, washed, gone. Riley, sick...seems fine, eating like a horse, tormenting cats, playing with neighbor, etc etc etc yet on an antibiotic that might or might not be dangerous to the point of death for me. FUN!

On the positive side...we booked our trip to Disneyland for during my fall break!! YAY!!! Four nights in a BRAND NEW Marriot...three days in Disneyland and California Adventure. Oh yeah, and a week off school! And then I get a new class. But I will miss the one that I am in now.


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Birthdays, school and rambling other stuff!

So, my ACTUAL birthday stank. But the following Saturday I went out with Jenn, Shawna, Whitney and Cathy. Shawna got a tat. A butterfly on her hip. Jenn got that little triangular part of the ear in front of the ear canal pierced. I got my belly button pierced. We got manicure and pedicures. They we went to dinner. After that we went back to Shawna's and the limo came and got us. We went to a club in downtown Sac. FUN!!! Limo driver was a cutie...Alex. From the Ukraine. Very nice guy.

School is awesome. My kids are great. Barbara (my Master Teacher) is at Science Camp this week with Linda and the 6th graders. So I am on my own for three days this week. A ton of fun!! Tomorrow my supervisor is coming to observe me teach math. Of course, my WORST subject! LOL But apparently, the kids did this stuff last year, so it is really a lot of review.

I am really in the right field. I am LOVE LOVE LOVING teaching! All the teachers there are great. Everyone is soooo willing to help me, so willing to answer questions that I might have. I would LOVE to be able to get Barbara's job for next year. Although I will have to find closer day care for Riley if I do.

Riley is sick. :( Last night he had a fever...102.2. Not good. Brad had to stay home today to be with him. I can't stay home tomorrow, and neither can Brad. So, Marc S. is coming up for the morning. Krista will come up later with the girls and take over for him. He will take the girls and go home.

Well, that's abou tit for now. Not much going on. :)


Sunday, August 26, 2007

Totally forgot!

Oh yeah, yesterday was my birthday. I had to be at school from 9-4. Krista took Riley for me since Brad is on night shift. Shawnas girls got their black belts yesterday, but I had to be at school. It just sucked. Oh well. Brad is getting me my new camera for my birthday.

Been awhile!

Well, on Riley's b-day, the last day I wrote, we went to my folks. I was going to LA with Shawna, and Brad had to work. So my folks took Riley for the weekend. We got down to my folks and we had the family, Dave, Cathie, Jennifer, Aunt Tina and Gina over for cake. He got some train stuff, some clothes and some books. It was fun. Friday morning Brad & I had to get up at like 3 am to drive him back to work. Shawna was going to pick me up at the plant but things changed and she picked me up at home.

We got down to LA, getting a TON of looks...two hot chicks in a red 'Vette...yeah. :) We took a cab to House of Blues at DownTown Disney for dinner. Then we went to a club in downtown Fullerton. Got back to our hotel at almost 3am. lol Sat we went to her cousins bridal shower. Back to the hotel. Met her folks, bro and sil for dinner. Went shopping. Back to the hotel, another cab, back to downtown Fullerton. Got back to the hotel around 3. Again. Got up in the morning and drove home.

At the Grapevine, I called Mom to let her know where we were on our drive home. She told me that they didn't know if they were going to be able to drive me & Riley to Monterey the next day because Nana was in the hospital again. So, I called Brad and asked him to pick us up. He was almost to Monterey, so he went, checked into the hotel and drove back up to San Mateo. Poor guy. We got to Monterey at almost 10.

Monday, after Brads class, we went and walked around the Fisherman's Wharf. It was a ton of fun! That night we had a dinner for everyone at the conference. Met a few other wives that were there. Tues we had a breakfast, then I took Riley over to the kids club for the day that the conference runners organized. I wandered around, shopped, read, etc. That night was the dinner at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. VERY fun!!! The aquarium was closed to the public, so it was just the conference people. Idiots were leaving half drunk glasses of wine and bottles of beer around. Riley grabbed a couple and drank some of them.

Wed I went to a class at the Monterey Culinary Institute. Riley went to kids camp again. Then him & I had to drive home because I had to be at a district meeting Thurdays morning, really didn't need to be there. Oh well. Fri I went to a staff meeting at the school. That was nice to be there. Drove BACK down to drop Riley with my folks for the night. Got down to Monterey, Brad & I went to a pub for dinner. It was the first night we had alone since Riley was born. Got back to Mom & Dads on Sat to find out that Nana had gone BACK in the hospital Fri morning. That night there was a surprise party for Jennifers 21st b-day. Sun we came home, went grocery shopping and came home.

Mon was the first day of school, first day of me student teaching. :) I am in the 4th grade with Barbara Chasteen. TONS of fun! I am LOVING my class. They seem low academically, but they are great! I don't know where I will be for my next session, I am hoping with Toni Linde in a combo class. That will be neat to see how those are run.

The first 2 weeks of school are over. I am teaching reading, spelling and english right now. Later this week I will start math. I am having a lot of fun. It's a lot of hard work. I have to bust my tail. It's hard being back at work after 2 years home with Riley, but I think that it is good for both of us too. I hope that next school year he is potty trained and I can put him in preschool. I think that it would be good for him. I've even picked the preschool! LOL How's THAT for confident? Not only that but he's on the wait list for the school. :)

Oh well, that's pretty much got me caught up! lol


Thursday, August 02, 2007

Two years ago

Dear Riley,

I cannot believe it. Two years ago, at this time, shortly after midnight, I arrived at Mercy General Hospital in Sacramento. My water had broken at just about 11pm. When we arrived, we were so optimistic that I would get to have the birth that I dreamed of. That I could do this with no meds. My water broke...that meant that my body was responding to you wanting out and I would not have to have that cesarean.

Yeah, not happening. Apparently, the whole getting pregnant thing being tough wasn't enough. Now the delivery was going to be difficult! My risk of miscarriage was 85%. 15% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. My risk was opposite.

I was so set on how I wanted my delivery to go. I wanted to be able to walk. I did not want medication, at all. I wanted my mom & dad, Brads mom & dad to come in and out of the room while I was in labor. I wanted Brad with me. Yeah, I was delusional. I hear about women who are chatting and laughing until it's time to push. That is what I wanted. I wanted to enjoy my delivery. Hey, chances are high this would be my only change to do this. I wanted it to go my way!

Ah, but my body. My body chose the way it wanted things to go. Instead of my body responding to the contractions, which had started on Friday night, my body did nothing. Yep. NOTHING. I didn't even dialate to a one. Not even a ONE! I mean, that should have been easy enough, right? Yeah, guess not! Oh well.

Fortunately, my doctor was sympathetic. Instead of making me wait from midnight until the time of my planned c-section at 7:30am, he came in and did it then. So, my amazing little boy, you made your entrance in the middle of the night...just like I did. 2:32am. I did not get the birth that I wanted. But I got my boy. And really, isn't what is important that you were born healthy? I guess that it doesn't matter that the dr had to cut me open, messing up my stomach muscles so that I have no control over my lower stomach, or the fact that even now, 2 years later, I still have numb spots on my lower stomach. I have my little boy.

And you are an amazing little boy. You are so happy. You are so loving. You are sweet, gentle, rough and tumble all in one. One minute, you're tackling the cat. The next, you want to cover my face in kisses. You love to jump, and run and play with your "trai", your trains. What can be cuter than a child trying to drag a cat around the house by his tail when the cat is almost as big as the child is? Oh, I know. That same child having a nightmare and the ONLY thing that can calm him is petting that same cat. As the cat lays there, purring.

You was born...isn't that all that matters? Do I wish that your birth went differently? No, not anymore. Once my friends are done having kids, and most are, no one will talk about how our babies were born until THEY are having babies. Then it might come up that I had a c-section. But who cares? It was the birth that was meant to be. What more can be said?

So, happy birthday my little man. I love you so much. You are a joy to be Mommy to. Complete strangers love you. I get comments literally every time we go out about how adorable you are. People on elevators try to make you laugh. Mom's in hotel lobbies give you lollies that they just bought for their children. Parents outside the ice cream shop in Martell love to watch you play on the grass with their children. And watching you reminds them of what their babies were like at your age. Waitresses at restaurants hug you. Tom, the owner up at Incahoots on the corner, sits and talks to your Dad and plays with your hair. Your Grandpa and Grandma do silly things, like put your picture on the couch to watch baseball with you. Your Opa got in trouble for picking you up recently because he wasn't supposed to after his surgery. But "I just can't help it!" is what he tells us.

Oh my boy, you are a joy. You have been given a gift. That gift is the gift of lovability. Everyone who sees you falls in love with you. But none of them can ever love you more than me and your Dad. We love you little man. Happy second birthday. I pray that you remain as happy as you are now.


Sunday, July 15, 2007


Tomorrow is my interview for student teaching. It makes ZERO sense to me that I do not interview with the district. I interview with my uni. How weird is that? LOL I just don't get it. How does the district know that they want me? I mean, I'm confident that I will do well. Ok, I'm not confident about that. I am really freaked out that I will suck at teaching. I'm scared. I don't KNOW that I will be good at this. It's the only thing I've wanted to do. What if I suck at it? What if the kids make me cry? What if no one will hire me? I'm fucking FREAKED! I hate job interviews, especially one like this that is weird. I don't know...what if, what if, what if.

This just scares me. I don't like having to leave Riley with a day care person. I don't want to do that. I want to be home with him. That's where I should be. I didn't know that the program would be this short. I thought that I would have another year before student teaching. I've wanted to be a mom for so long, and now that I am, what am I going to do? Take care of other peoples kids and leaving mine with someone else. I'm just stressed. I need some down time before school starts.

And speaking of school starting, what the hell is up with that? School starts Aug 13! What the hell!? What happened to starting after Labor Day?

Ok, I need to stop stressing. I think that a massage is called for! :) Hopefully soon.


Saturday, July 14, 2007

Had fun

The company party was so much fun!! We met Jeff, Michelle (didn't know they're a couple!), and some guy and his wife Rosa, and Joe's Crab Shack. Had some snacks & drinks. Went and decorated our three tables on the boat. I got to meet the main bosses wife and the plants liason from the local power company and his wife. Her and I TOTALLY hit it off! LOL I made some comment to Brad about not wanting a margarita because they wouldn't have Patron on the boat and this ended up being a conversation about different types of tequila. Turns out they not only had Patron, it was the only tequila they had! LOL So, all the women, except Rosa who is nursing and J who is pg, had them. Apparently, I am really fun & Laurie, the liasons wife, wants to get together. Ooookay! LOL Hey, getting in good with the hubby's bosses wife can't be BAD right?

Riley did good with Marianne babysitting him. They seemed to have fun. Even if she burned the pizza & cut it with scissors. And made Kool-Aid in the wrong pitcher, so it was horridly weak! LOL Oh well...they had fun. That is all that matters.

Went and saw "Evan Almighty" today with S. She was taking her daughter B and 2 of B's friends. It was a good movie. The girls were laughing so hard!

Now I'm home, Riley is playing with his Duplos. Brad is at the bar with S's hubby, K. They both need to get out. They are still having serious issues in their marriage. I really hope that they can work through it all.

Oh, and my class from last month? FINALLY got grades! And I passed the RICA. YAY!!!


Thursday, July 12, 2007

I'm not old enough....

to have friends that are in their 40's!!!!! LOL My good friend, J, turned 40 today. Abso-fucking-lutely CRAZY! Another friend, R, turned 49 on Tues.

So, J's mom threw her a party today. A formal high tea luncheon. I hate these things. I mean, it was a TON of fun. And I wouldn't have NOT gone. But I just so nervous with things like this. I only knew 3 other people, besides J, that were going to be there. One was home, she hurt her knee and couldn't come. So, that left 2 other people that I knew. There were assigned seats. I was supposed to be at a table with the one who didn't make it. So, I was at this table with 2 other women that I didn't know. I get so nervous at things like this that I want to vomit. I hate it hate it hate it. I knew that I had to go though. I was picking S up. Plus, I couldn't do that to J, just not show up ya know?

I went, it was fun. I was a table with teachers. But they work together, so it was weird for me. I gave J a picture frame that has engraved "Who wouldn't want to be us?" with a pic of me, her, S & R from our nice dinner out in Arizona. A pair of super duper soft blue aloe infused socks. A book called "At Knits End: MEditations for Women who Knit too Much". A t-shirt that has a guy knocked out by a girl that says "Does not play well with others." And three cards from me, one from me & S. LOL We had WAY too much fun in Hallmark!!

Tomorrow is utter chaos! LOL I start at 10 with a hair cut and colour. Then a pedicure. Then get my eyebrows waxed. Then off to Michaels to get candle holders. Then pick up the babysitter. Come home, get dinner for the babysitter and Riley, get dressed, do my makeup, go to the company dinner. Get home, take babysitter home. It'll be fun!


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

What's the point?

Of having an advisor at a university IF THEY DON'T ADVISE??????????? I swear, I have had nothing but issues with the uni that I am working on my credential through. I went from Aug 2006 till April 2007 with no advisor. It wasn't until I got really mad that I got an advisor. And even now, I don't have an advisor. I call, and talk to whoever is available. Yeah, I get the run around, a LOT. But I did manage to explain my situation to the head of the dept who was making assumptions based on what was in the computer. Yeah, it was all wrong. Wrong dates, things done that weren't really done. A big fat mess. At least it's getting taken care of now.

And last month, I had the professor from hell. Not that he was mean. He just.......disappeared for a few weeks. Keep in mind that the classes are only 4 weeks. Still waiting for my final grade in the class. Today is 10 days after the end of the class and grades should be posted. But they aren't. I am just so fucking fed up with this shit. I am just needing to be done with school. Yet, I have to take another class this month.

This month is a computer class. Very annoying. It's stupid shit that I will NEVER use in a classroom. Guess what? I DON'T NEED TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE A FLYER IN WORD! It's simple, I would either ask my friend who does digital scrapbooking to make me one OR I would paper scrap it myself & photocopy it OR I would MAKE IT IN PUBLISHER! NOT WORD!!! Drives me fucking crazy! I will NEVER have to make something like this! Look at this damn assignment!

Using MS Word, create a one-page newsletter, flyer or award certificate for use in your classroom that includes:
* 1 watermark graphic with text written over it
* 1 additional clip art image
* 1 graphic image on the same line as text
* Clear, short, and simple text message indicating purpose.

Come ON! If I need an award, I WILL BUY THEM! If I need a flyer, I won't make it in WORD! ARGH!!!!!

Ok, can ya TELL that I'm frustrated?

But I had a nice weekend. A friend came up Sat and stayed the night. We went shopping and out to dinner. Then we went to a local Indian casion, but it was a zoo, so we left. Sun we were going to take Rileys 2 yr pics, but that didn't work. He decided to take a nap. Little monkey! But we shopped, had lunch, then we came home. She went home. It was nice though.

Mon we ran around all day. Today was my friends b-day. So, after my fitness class, my friend who teaches it & I went to lunch. Then we went back to her house, took showers, and went to go buy bday cards and gifts. Then we met the b-day girl for lunch! Tomorrow, which is Wed, I am going shopping with another friend. I need a bra for under my dress for Fri night. And a wrap. Thurs is my friends 40th b-day. Yep, 2 good friends whose b-days are 2 days apart! LOL Well, and about 4 years. lol Her Mum is having a "high tea" that we are all going to. It will be fun. Fri I get my hair cut & coloured. Then I get a pedicure. Then I get my eyebrows waxed. Then I have to pick up the sitter, come home and get ready. It's the company party. Which is a dinner cruise on the river. Come home, drive said sitter home. Sat I MIGHT be meeting a friend and her daughter and some of her daughters friends to see "Nancy Drew". Funny that I want to see that movie since I HATED the books as a kid! LOL And somewhere in this mess I have to do that assine assignment and two other assignments! Can I get another 4 hours in my days? Oh, and Sun Brad has to spray the vineyard for his folks since his Dad can't be on the tractor for a while.

Yeah, I've got the time! LOL


Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Something "went boom"

I'm cracking up over here. We're all sitting here, watching "Mr & Mrs Smith". Yes, we allow Riley to watch things like this. Deal. Something exploded. Riley got ALL excited and said "(something) went BOOM!" We couldn't understand the first word...I wish we could. We was so excited!! This child is SUCH a boy!! Honestly, I don't know what I would do with a girl if I had one! LOL I've gotten so used to the tackling, booms, etc. The jumping off furniture. Head butting, growling. LOL

The other day Toast was growling at him constantly. Understandable since Riley was trying to ride him. Poor stupid cat. Riley thought that it was hysterical and would growl back everytime Toast growled. And then Riley would laugh.

He's picking up a lot of words lately. All of a sudden he pops off with words that we didn't know he knew. His latest thing is he waves and says "Bye-bye. See ya!" and then he walks away. LOL It is so funny.

He walks into the kitchen, looks at me and says "Hey dude". I guess because of how we talk to him he is going to talk to us the same way. We don't talk disrespectfully to him, but we do use common slang with him.

I am having to get better with my language. One day, I hit my toe that I broke last year and I said "SHIT SHIT SHIT!" He said "IT IT IT!" I've been careful since. Or at least I try to be! I'm not always successful. But I do try!

Today is the 4th. We went to the parade in town. BIG parade. lol It was all of four blocks. Brad pushed Riley in his Power Wheels that my folks gave him last year for his birthday. It was really cute. I took a ton of pics, well, not as many as I would have if I wasn't running the video camera at the same time. LOL Brad was with Riley in the parade so it was just me taking pics. But they were good pics.


Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Baby fever

Oh man, I don't know what to do. I'm itching for another one. I know that it isn't realistic that I'll get pregnant again. Part of me doesn't want to. But I am thinking about adoption again. I haven't mentioned it to Brad at all. I don't know what he would think. I do know though that if we do adopt, I want to find out about the shots that would allow me to breastfeed. I enjoyed it so much with Riley, that bonding time was so nice! And I would HATE HATE HATE to have to use formula. I already have the diapers. Of course, we just got rid of all our baby stuff! I've given a ton of stuff to a friends bro and wife. And just last week we took 13 bags of clothes to hospice.

I know that I need to talk to Brad about it. It's a hard call. I mean, if I were to get pg again I would be thrilled. But I wonder a little bit about adopting. Riley is starting to get more self sufficent. I don't have to spend every waking hour taking care of him. A new baby would set that back. I'm just at a loss. I don't know what I should do. Maybe I should bring it up to Brad just so I have someone to talk to about it all. I CAN'T go back to trying to get pregnant. I just can't. It was too stressful and too painful. If it happens great, but I just don't know what I should do about the adoption thing.

ARGH!!!!! I wrote this hoping for some clarity, but I'm not getting that.

Sunday, July 01, 2007


Why is it that people think it's rude for a woman to nurse in public but feeding a baby artifical breast milk, otherwise known as formula, no one blinks an eye? I just don't get it.

Now, I never heard any comments about nursing Riley. I wouldn't have cared if I got them anyway! The only person who ever asked when I was going to quite nursing was my Mom. And even she wasn't really judgemental about it. She wanted to keep him overnight. Never mind that she did before he quit nursing, she just thought that if I wasn't nursing she could have him more often. LOL

But I don't get it. We have sexualized breasts as a society and because of that women who want to feed their babies NATURAL food get crap! People are idiots.

Been mad

Thursday Brad was supposed to be off work...starting night shift on Fri. I ran Adrienne to meet Daniel, since she watched Riley while we were at the hospital. While I was gone, Brad called. Work had called and wanted him to come in. Never mind the fact that I had a research paper to write and a final exam and nevermind that I was planning to do them that night...Brad said YES! PISSED ME RIGHT THE HELL OFF! And he did this after I told him not to go in. Since we were visiting Stan on Sat that left me with Fri to do my paper and take the final. I know, I know, I shouldn't have left it till the last minute. BUT we had a really flakey professor and he didn't get back to the emails he'd been sent with questions. So I was stuck and I wasn't able to work on the paper until he got back to the email.

I've also been annoyed with school. It's a good thing I have this week off. I need it. This prof basically disappeared the first week of class and didn't show back up until the 3rd week! It's only a four week class. Pisses me off. We all bust our butts with these classes, and we didn't know how we were doing in the class until it was almost over. People are pissed.

I emailed my advisor twice the other week, never heard back until I called and left her a message. Apparently, she didn't get my emails. But everything is on track for me to student teach this year. So, in a little over a month, I will be teaching in a public school. Provided, of course, that my idiot advisor didn't miss anything that I need!! I swear, the school could not have screwed things up for me any more if they had tried!

Well, we'll see how it all goes!!


Saturday, June 30, 2007

Been a while

It's been a while since I've blogged.......a year, not too long! LOL

The inlaws are still driving me crazy. But at least we don't live so close anymore. We bought a house in Plymouth, did a renovation on it, and moved in. Of course, we're still working on it.

Riley is almost 2 now. He's in gymnastics. We just finished a week of swim lessons. He is such a monkey! He is all over the place...climbing, running, jumping, he's crazy!

I'm working my tail off on school. I will start student teaching in the fall. I don't know what school yet. Part of me would like the school right here in Plymouth, but I just don't know.

Stan had his prostate out on Thurs because of cancer. It's hitting me how old our folks are getting. I just don't know. It's hitting me that as they get older, it's going to fall to Brad and I to care for all of them. Tyler's in Maine & Dina is.......well, she's Dina. You can't say anything else about her. Sometimes I just don't think that it's fair. Because we didn't want to move away from family we also get punished. Just frustrated!